In finding motivation...find your best and give yourself success
How do you go about finding motivation to do what needs to be done, so that you can have the slimmer you?
Expectations - They can help you in finding motivation, or they can stop it in it's tracks!
Look at this for a minute. If you've tried to lose weight permanently before, and found yourself back where you started, what was it stopped you getting the results you wanted and keeping them?
Two things (or maybe only one of these), you couldn't maintain the program you tried, because it didn't fit with your life, and at some stage or another you got disheartened because you didn't meet your expectations!
Maybe you didn't meet a weight loss goal you'd set yourself. Maybe you'd expected to see major changes in your body by a certain time, and then didn't. Maybe you set yourself the goal, and expected that it would be easy, of eating a healthy lunch for three days, and you only did it for two!
When you fail to meet your own expectations...you feel like you've failed, then you either get morose and say, "what's the point, I can't do this", or you spend hours of your day trying to rationalize to yourself that it's o.k. "It's o.k. I can start again tomorrow, it's o.k. there's no permanent damage".
There's nothing wrong in the second approach (the first...what's the point...is a cop out, you know it and I know it), in fact, talking ourselves through things that haven't gone the way we expected can help us a lot.
But there is another thing to consider...maybe you need to change the way you word your expectations or goals.
I like a goal, I set expectations on myself, my time and my life, but I have to be careful, because if I don't meet my goals, then I get frustrated, annoyed and tend to wander off and do something else (yes, I cop out...it gets hard!).
I like a goal because finding motivation for me comes from a successful experience! A small success can keep me going for the whole day, sometimes even a week, even through mistakes and stuff-ups, because I have something to hold onto that gave me a feeling of success!
Setting goals and expectations that help you in finding motivation.
Setting myself a goal like "20 minutes of exercise five days a week" was doomed to send me into a feeling of failure, and sapping me of any motivation. Really, I'd try...and try...and try, then one week, two weeks (or three days) later I'd only do four days in a week and I'd feel flat, uninspired and totally unmotivated!
Then I'd try and talk myself into a better mental position. It's o.k., I'd say, I can do five again next week, it's not bad, I will get back on track.
Then I'd not do five again, and I'd just become very blase about it and before I knew it I wasn't even doing two 20 minute sessions a week.
So, when I decided losing weight would have to fit into my life, I looked at the way I set my goals and expectations, and changed my attitude and perception.
My goal for making myself move more became, "I'll make everything I do as energetic as I possibly can, and I'll fit in as much extra exercise as my life allows at any given moment in time!"
"...as I possibly can" - if I was very tired (I was always tired, sometimes I was also very tired, other times I was very very tired) then I would go as fast as I could, given how I felt. If I was sick, I would put in as much energy as my body could muster in it's sick state. I focused on doing the maximum with what I had to work with physically.
Some days, or hours, that was very little. But I would do the most I could, and that was what I expected of myself - the best I could at any given time! As long as I could say, yes - I'm sick, my nose is so clogged I can hardly breathe, and my feet are dragging on the floor, and what little energy I have to use I have used to the max - then I had reached my goal.
Some days were, and are, really good. I'm on fire, I get through everything so fast that I have extra time, and then I can grab an extra walk, or 10 minutes of Kung Fu practice, or speed clean an extra room (this is not so much fun...but, that's life).
It's been a long time since I've felt like I didn't meet my goal, because my expectations are based on my effort not on an arbitrary numerical goal.
Finding motivation is easier when you feel success.
This is how you continually keep finding motivation. Because you set expectations that are based on your effort, not on an arbitrary goal that you hope you can achieve, you get a feeling of success. Even sick I usually sit down at the end of the day, with a blanket, box of tissues and a cup of green tea and lemon, and I know I have put into the day, put into my exercise, put into my mouth, the best I could based on that particular day and the situations that arose.
That gives me motivation. I get more motivation by knowing that I've succeeded for that day. I've succeeded in my goals, I have done the best with what I've had available, and with what life has thrown at me.
The very best way of finding motivation is by setting yourself expectations that focus on you doing the very best you can, in any given situation, on any given day, and by doing this you give yourself the best chance to experience success. Because success breeds motivation which breeds success which breeds motivation.
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